ecpaveo

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    lucy

    06.08.23 @ 10:15pm

    The first conceiving of Lucina was when I composed a song on the piano. At the time, it was my second song made after one I called "cephalopod" (which I don't remember how to play). I then used Lucina's song for my film project in school, and I slowly started to craft out their story, which I think is really interesting.

    In "modern" day Aeopine, Lucina is the symbol of Rika Academy's "cego: đru'ul" (re:birth), as they hold the fastest completion record and served in the Revolution with a very high rank (not sure what the rank is called but I'll figure it out like I always do). However, their dream was to become an alchemist who would learn the secrets of the universe. They excelled in school along with Karla Đans, another historical figure in the 2nd world.

    Lucina's backstory is super interesting. They were born along with the demon "Kru" (fire), meaning that they possess the ability of "absolute fire". So basically, whenever Lucina relyed on Kru's power, they'd gain the ability to turn into pure flame (which is badass wtf). However, because of this power, Lucina distanced themself from everything they wanted and loved because they felt as though they'd "go up in flames completely and burn everything".

    So, their life was quite sad. They never pursued their dream, instead enlisting themself in the literal miliary to be "of good use" to the Aeopine cause. Fortunately, their personal philosophy lined up perfectly with the military's, so they fit right in.

    Lucina also became infatuated with Karla at a young age, but knew that they wouldn't reciprocate their feelings back. This concealing of emotion eventually ate Lucina alive. Along with the incident (in Karla's story), Lucina gradually harbored feelings of resentment throughout the years that Karla was labelled MIA. When Karla returned, the two became enemies with two completely different goals and beliefs. They eventually make up, but it takes almost the rest of their lifetimes to.

    Because Lucina is such an influential figure in the 2nd world of Aeopine (as is expected when you break a world record in the literal military), there are a number of trends that they have pioneered. For instance, the standard haircut for Revolution fighters first consisted of two pieces of long hair in the front while the rest of the hair is fastened with a clip of some sort. However, Lucina changed the game (lol) when they burned one of the pieces of their hair, so they were left with one strand in the front, making for an asymmetrical style. This hairstyle skyrocketed in popularity. However, it hasn't replaced the standard. Another fun trend they accidently started is called the "cigarette on fire". They had a habit of literally setting their entire cigarette on fire when smoking one, which makes for a sick picture. However, nobody can quite recreate it, as they'd burn their mouths off. Since then, cigarettes with illusionary fire have been a mainstream item for many.

    I'm thinking that their weapon should be a blade of some sort. A sabre, perhaps? That'd be cool.

    I was first really inspired to work on Lucina's storyline when I was reading a collection of stories put together in a book called "An Alchemist With One Eye on Fire" by Clayton Eshleman. The title itself already gave me an idea with this. I also came up with a little short story revolving around Karmen, who is Karla's sibling. They and a team of other scholars are commissioned by Mei themself to climb the freezing Diamond Mountains and document their journey. Obviously, the team panic because the commission was very last minute and they need to find someone who could help them bear with the cold (in order to trek up the Diamond Mountains effectively, one needs to go to cold exposure therapy first). Guess who's literally perfect for the job? Lucina!

    The journey ended up being a disaster because the team that's assigned with Karmen were all idiots. Karmen and Lucina carried tbh. Turns out, the entire operation was just made by Mei to search for Remi and Ckara.

    ASDFGHJK

    12.12.21 @ 1229am

    image FUCK image 123 image >:///

    whatsup y'all its ya girl yobun back at it again after three months without any relevance i guess

    i guess first, i can say i didn't die lmao. i will just say that i really almost hit low bottom fr. not going out at all rly fucks me mentally now that i had a taste of social life. so i guess if i want to go hikikomori in the future im 100% dying y'all. i'm back to work, so that's good in some ways. or maybe i'm just lying to myself. who knows!

    it was weird. people missed me, seemed happy to see me there. people i didn't talk much with recognized me and say hi. a pretty bizarre, imo, since the people i interacted in the past didn't even acknowledged my absence, so i guess i felt weirded out lol ! yet i was grateful and i felt happy.

    hmn... well, i hope i can apply to college. i think i will enjoy what i want to go with, or, well, i wish i don't fuck it up. if i do, then i guess i have to try again. even if that sucks... but i have to keep moving!

    also, happy second b-day to the site. happy halloween too!

    mentioning the site, i'm working at the decks page. i'm leaving it relatively simple! i want to make another deck, so hopefully it can see the light of the day someday lol. then... an horror page! since i like true crime a lot, i would like to write about some tc on méxico for all who are interested to read about it! hopefully my writing doesn't suck that much.

    my laptop got fucked. i mean, i can still use it, but there are some important things that stopped working, and ive tried my best to fix them by myself but this lp just doesn't cooperate lol. i even tried to restore it completely, but this shit just didn't want to... dunno if it is a virus, or just i fucked it myself... but im to careless to fix it for now. if it works somehow it works..... even if its fucking me all over.

    i want to make another piercing..... ughghghghghgh but i cant. my sugar gets low and i almost faint THAT SUCKS!!!! but i doo want anotheeeeer earringgggggggggggggg............

    what else... hm... nothing, really. cold weather is here. i hate my body but im working on it. my hair sucks, i want to read more, i want to bake cookies for my friends. i want to draw more. i want to feel satisfied. my jeans dont fit me anymore! there are cats outside. i bought crayolas... mundane stuff of a mundane person.

    i want more pinky street dolls!!!!

    also, someone archived my diary? whoever you are, thank u for reading me lol or for being interested on whatever u are ig.

     

    21.09.21 @ 05:32 pm

    image ***

    image 浮遊感 歌ってみた【Eve】

    image :(

     

    been some time since i wrote something, or did anything at all... life has been normal, but i have felt down like usual... but let's talk about good things first!!! if they are even good.

    i quit my job-- well, i don't know if quit is the right word, since i had to because my granpa has been quite sick by a surgery that he had. my mom wants to see him, and he's in another state, and since my job only gives one week of 'vacation', visits with my grandpa are over 1 month there... i'm not even that interested about it, since i don't have a good relationship with him. but hey, whatever.

    these days without going to work had been really good... work was fucking me over so much. i had never rested well and now that i'm out of there it feels GOOD. i saved money, so i had been alright in that aspect... for some reason, my boss would like to have me back, so he doesn't mind if i work again with him. i honestly... was almost flattered. almost. i know they like to fuck me over, and since december is coming, they need hands. but hey-- i always think bosses are like this, so it doesn't matter where a person like me go.

    but i must say my mental health is not very good. mom asked me what was i going to do with my future, and i didn't know what to tell her. it really is a triggering? subject to me, but is necessary to think about it... that question did fuck me over the whole week, tho, ngl. the future has always been scary to talk about... people around me say that i should give it time, that one day i will know what to do-- but when is 'one day'? i feel like a total failure. sometimes i think of just end it all and begone. but then i think my family will go mad, specially my mom. i think about that, and i'm unable to do something. maybe that's a good thing? who knows. sometimes i desire to something or somebody just make me disappear so i don't have to do it... pretty dark. i don't see myself here in the next few years.

    but when i think about doing it is quite vivid-- as if i'm really doing it. i've thought about with what, and where. i've never told anyone this, not even one of my closer friends. this is a secret that you, internet person, will only know.

    i think a person like me doesn't deserve good things. i've had done bad things in the past. i was a bad person back then. i was always angry-- irritated. everyone was a pest to talk with, and i really never had an interest to keep being friends... i was very... stupid and idiotic back then. and i still am. i'm unable to keep those friendships, but i try. i try to stop being that scared idiot who doesn't know anything but being alone. and now, i'm somehow glad those people still talk to me as if i was still there. that had made me happy.

    what do i do? what can i do? how can i stop myself from being so scared on what to do? many people just go with the flow without any care in the world. sometimes i feel jealous... they don't overthink, they just live.

    AND, for some fucking reason, i've began to purge? the idea of always wanting to be skinny came out of nowhere these past few months. and most things i ate, i go to the bathroom and puke them? brother, lmao, i'm such a failure. i don't know where i'm heading to, honestly. maybe it is because i hate myself so much, and i always do things that harm my body.i sometimes, if not all the time, think, it's a shame somebody like me was born. haha, and yet i said to talk about positive things first... i'm stupid. all of this is, really. this entry is just a misery person talking about her misery like she always does. nothing more, nothing less. i don't need anyone to feel bad for me, because this is just the everyday. maybe i will be better tomorrow. my only cope is to write in this pretty diary, and get this off of my chest.

    BUT WHATHEVER. like i always say, suffering is not for forever, right? i can't wait for that happiness to come out of nowhere. i have to get up, work my ass off, and find it. i can't just stay there and wait for something that will not come. i truly don't know what to do with my life, but i will do something for the meantime to learn more.

    maybe one day i will just disappear, and this site will never be updated again. maybe one day i will not be here, but maybe it's because i knew what to do and my life would be busier.

    maybe.

    ..-. ..- -.-. -.-

    11.05.21 @ 01:41 am

    image uggggggghhhhhh

    image l's theme B

    image :(

     

    haven't feel good these days, but i'm managing, at least! unfortunately, everytime i think about that incident, my urges to do self harm appear, so that's bad. i dunno, but when i remember i feel this desperation, like insects croumbling on my body and i want to tear my hair off. it's tough and it makes me want to die already, but the only willpower i have is keeping me in place i guess... tough tough tough, i can't go to therapy because therapy costs money, money that i have to use for other important things. :( i would have never imagined this is what i would have become when i was 10 years old... but hey, shit happens! i try to stay positive, but there's never good news for me. that's how it has always been.

    BUT HEY. ENOUGH OF THIS MISERABLE BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!

    AHEM. recently, i always saw this video about a superheroe's cartoon about a dad beating the hell out of his child, then the same man killing some superheroes' team. i must say the artstyle took my attention, but i didn't watch it yet. it was until YESTERDAY that i begun watching 'invincible'-- omni man is the most powerful superhero on earth, that happens to be the dad of our protagonist: mark grayson. is then that mark, at 17 years old, awakens his powers and gets ready to be a hero like his dad. but is then that our poor mark realizes how fucked a fight between villains and heroes can be, along with lies around his dad surfaces when the heroe's league is killed.

    i must say i liked invicible very much!! the animation is rlly good! i loved mark a lot, since i like when our protagonists get beaten everytime even when they are giving their all! .ﾟ☆(ノё∀ё)ノ☆ﾟ. there are some weird moments that seem rushed, but that's just maybe me being hmn. but overall, it's a good show! i didn't think i would like it that much, but here i am. but i must say the scenes between amber and mark are rather annoying, since the 'i am a hero, i keep it a secret thats why i'm late for everything' thrope is kind of irritating for me LOL. but i'll live.

    WHAT ELSE........ i worked on a rpg maker game a couple of weeks ago, and the last thing i've been doing is pixel art. it does take a lot of your time, but it's really satisfying seeing it finished! i'm still trying to understand variables and switches... it's complicated when i'm a dumbass! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶” unfortunately, i haven't doing much now. work has been really stressful, so i havent touched much...

    been working on another layout, but i really like my current one...oh! i've been collecting all the flash games i played when i was younger, so i'm doing a simple page to collect them there so others can play them. i've been playing some of them, and is really funny how i can beat them now LOL how silly!

    also, fiona's shrine is being worked on again, so hopefully i can post it once it's over. it got a revamp since my folder somehow got deleted completely, that's why it took more time than expected. also, my computer can't be updated since it shut downs by itself, so hopefully that doesn't make things worse...

    orakol? oracle?

    06.08.23 @ 4:20 pm

     

    i won't even lie mei slays constantly they can do no wrong

     

    I'm not even sure if Mei is the first character I could think of, but they play one of if not the most important role in the creation and continuation of Aeopine (also, I should type it out like Aeo Pine because that's how adjective gluing works in EA but Idc and neither do they). What's really cool about them is that they don't do all of their diplomatic stuff to gain power, but to keep Aeopine from literally collapsing under the other angels' rule. They know that powerlust makes rulers incompetent and by proxy their utter lack of selfishness makes them the best possible leader for Aeopine. It's really interesting to also see how the angels have their own extreme moral codes and philosophies that are unique to their character and name, yet Mei literally doesn't care, even though they embody one of the most powerful concepts; change.

    Mei was the first angel to descend onto Aeopine, as it is known. However, I don't really know what to fill in for the missing time from the end of the 1st world to the 3rd world and on. In the 2nd world, Remi and Ckara were both trapped in the true layer (kronema ce'enok), so I can safely deduce that Mei obviously hatched a big operation to save the two and have them reborn. The really cool thing about the true layer is that those who remain in it for an extended amount of time (in this instance, 10,000 years), their bodies are perfectly preserved. Therefore, Mei didn't need to go find new bodies for them to use. However, new demons were required, so Mei would subsequently switch Cy and Ronis between Remi and Ckara. That's why Remi and Ckara have red and blue blood, but have their blood switch in the 3rd world.

    Some facts about Mei that I should write down before I forget:

    - Can't cook (they're not bad at it, but they don't have the patience to learn)

    - They're very tall (7 feet at least)

    - Their scythe is made from glass and bone (WHOSE BONE...? Idk, I'll figure that out soon enough)

    - In the 3rd world, they literally adopt Ares (it's funny bc if Cirme hadn't intervened, Ares would've been Mei's treechild since the beginning)